A couple of weeks ago I had a great illustration of a parallel process while facilitating on a programme for a global firm of strategy consultants. On day 1, we (the facilitators) were mostly observing the participants working in teams on a case study and were frustrated that the participants weren't being sufficiently challenging with each other, and that it hadn't got better as the day wore on. One of the most important things in creating a learning environment is this balance between challenge (dissonance) and support (resonance). If there's too much challenge and not enough support then it is too exposing and people close down and become defensive. But if there's too much support and not enough challenge, it is like a social chat and people do not stretch themselves to expand their awareness.
The breakthrough came at our facilitator group debrief on the morning of day 2 when we recognised the parallel process that we ourselves were not being challenging enough about their lack of challenge. So in the next session the session leader was! He gave them some pretty direct feedback on their performance on the previous day. And they came right back at him... and then each other. And, hey presto, they upped their engagement, upped their performance in the case study, and (crucially) upped their learning. The rest of the three day event was great, as was participant feedback on their learning.
The learning I took away was just how important it always is to be conscious of (ie monitor) the balance between challenge and support, and to recognise your responsibility for it. But the balance shouldn't simply reflect your own personal style! Your responsibility is do what is in the best interests of your client, ie provide what they need from you at any point in time to create the right space for their learning.
