I discovered the other day that one of my fellow Tai Chi teachers, who is also an executive coach, did his Ashridge Masters thesis on the linkages between Tai Chi and coaching. It made me realise that, although Tai Chi is a very big part of my life and certainly supports my coaching, I have until now never blogged about it. So let me pick out one linkage I make right now - Tai Chi and management of the limbic response. And in future I may share some of his insights.
In many other posts (and on my website) I have explained the neurobiology of the limbic response. Stong negative emotions (eg fear) limit our ability to respond. We simply react - typically with "fight", "flight" or "freeze". We get rigid (inflexible) and lose the ability to empathise or to act "intentionally". When we are stuck like this, one way to free ourselves up is to change our perception of the situation and thus reduce our limbic response - that is the goal of a lot of coaching.
But it also works the other way around. If we can relax the body's reaction we can directly reduce the linbic response, which in turn can change our perception. Which is where Tai Chi helps. Tai Chi is all about relaxation. When we practice our solo form we seek to eliminate tension and maintain relaxation throughout the exercise. And when we practice Tai Chi as a martial art (ie the two person exercise of "Pushing Hands" or "Sensing Hands") we are directly training our body not to react with fight, flight or freeze, even under the actual physical threat of another's contact (their push). When we stay relaxed, we continue to sense where the other person is coming from (equivalent to empathising) and we use our connection with them to re-direct them - not fight, not flight and not freeze.
In the longer term, confidence in the power of staying relaxed actually changes your habitual fear response - the world and other people become less threatening. The corresponding reduction in fear (ie stress) in your life is clearly one of the health benefits of Tai Chi. But in the context of business leadership, the true benefit of Tai Chi (like other mindfulness practices) is in improving your ability to manage your limbic response - a huge advantage in almost any situation.
Showing posts with label 3.2 Managing the limbic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 3.2 Managing the limbic. Show all posts
Performing at altitude!
I've had a long break over the London 2012 summer, so it's a while since I've blogged. But I think I have a good insight to kick of this new season - at least, it has been really helpful to me!
In the last two weeks I have been working on programmes with very senior participants who appeared far less skilled than you would have expected from people at their level, especially around building relationships, understanding the politics of the situation and exercising influence without direct authority. What became clear in our work was that they already used these skills in getting to where they were, but something was now de-skilling them - that something being what you might call the "altitude" of their situation.
Let me explain the reference. I am not a rock climber, but a friend who is once told me that climbs are rated for difficulty on two measures. One is technical difficulty and the other is "exposure" - essentially a measure of how scary it looks and feels. You could call it the fear factor. Climbers recognise that what seems easy at one height becomes almost impossible at another. Even without going into the brain science, we all know this from experience. Imagine walking along a bench one foot wide but only one foot off the floor - no risk, no fear, so no problem at all. You know that you'd probably even be happy to jump up and down, joke around, stand on one leg etc, all without falling off. Now imagine that was the one foot wide top of the parapet surrounding the viewing platform of a great tower - you probably wouldn't even get up there, and you certainly wouldn't mess around.
So take this back to the senior executives / partners I was working with and look at some of the key skills they needed to use but weren't. One of those skills is keeping your attention focused on the other person when listening. Not exactly a new concept for them. But what happens when you suddenly realise how important this conversation is? Let's say the other person is a global CEO of your key client, you only meet him once a year, other people are watching how you do - you'd better not screw it up! It's hard not to start thinking about what you are going to say to impress them, what you have to offer, how you are doing so far etc. In other words, all your attention is on you! So guess what, you've already screwed it up!
Another skill is seeing things from another perspective - again, not rocket science and something every successful executive can do. But what if the stakes are really high? Ultimately the other person's view is something you're imagining, whereas your own view is the reality you see. Are you really going to trust your imagination over your own perception? No way! So your ability (or agility) is gone and you are stuck in your own world view with no sensitivity to how it looks to others. Again, that's not a recipe for success.
The last example is the skill of using non-rational data, in other words your senses and your intuitions. This is also something that nearly all successful people can do to a greater or lesser extent. But for many, it is yet another skill that deserts them just when they need it most. When the situation feels high risk, we may sense that a particular action is right, but we won't actually take it until we have checked out our instincts with rational analysis. And that brings two problems. One is that the moment for that action may have passed before we've finished thinking. And the other is that our rational brain is not well equipped to give us the right answer. So what we feel is reducing the risk of getting it wrong is actually increasing that risk.
So what? What can you do about all this? Well, I suppose the benefit of this insight is that once you recognise the true problem, you can find the right solutions. You don't necessarily need to learn new skills, you need to do two other things. Firstly, you need to work directly on the fear factor, by learning how to monitor your state and use appropriate techniques to manage it. Secondly, you need to make sure that certain skills you do have become such ingrained habits that they do not desert you even at altitude - and you do this through conscious developmental practice.
It sounds like the approach of a top athlete, doesn't it. Which is not surprising, because they know better than anyone that once you have reached a certain level, it is not your technical skills that limit you, it is your ability to use them when it matters most.
In the last two weeks I have been working on programmes with very senior participants who appeared far less skilled than you would have expected from people at their level, especially around building relationships, understanding the politics of the situation and exercising influence without direct authority. What became clear in our work was that they already used these skills in getting to where they were, but something was now de-skilling them - that something being what you might call the "altitude" of their situation.
Let me explain the reference. I am not a rock climber, but a friend who is once told me that climbs are rated for difficulty on two measures. One is technical difficulty and the other is "exposure" - essentially a measure of how scary it looks and feels. You could call it the fear factor. Climbers recognise that what seems easy at one height becomes almost impossible at another. Even without going into the brain science, we all know this from experience. Imagine walking along a bench one foot wide but only one foot off the floor - no risk, no fear, so no problem at all. You know that you'd probably even be happy to jump up and down, joke around, stand on one leg etc, all without falling off. Now imagine that was the one foot wide top of the parapet surrounding the viewing platform of a great tower - you probably wouldn't even get up there, and you certainly wouldn't mess around.
So take this back to the senior executives / partners I was working with and look at some of the key skills they needed to use but weren't. One of those skills is keeping your attention focused on the other person when listening. Not exactly a new concept for them. But what happens when you suddenly realise how important this conversation is? Let's say the other person is a global CEO of your key client, you only meet him once a year, other people are watching how you do - you'd better not screw it up! It's hard not to start thinking about what you are going to say to impress them, what you have to offer, how you are doing so far etc. In other words, all your attention is on you! So guess what, you've already screwed it up!
Another skill is seeing things from another perspective - again, not rocket science and something every successful executive can do. But what if the stakes are really high? Ultimately the other person's view is something you're imagining, whereas your own view is the reality you see. Are you really going to trust your imagination over your own perception? No way! So your ability (or agility) is gone and you are stuck in your own world view with no sensitivity to how it looks to others. Again, that's not a recipe for success.
The last example is the skill of using non-rational data, in other words your senses and your intuitions. This is also something that nearly all successful people can do to a greater or lesser extent. But for many, it is yet another skill that deserts them just when they need it most. When the situation feels high risk, we may sense that a particular action is right, but we won't actually take it until we have checked out our instincts with rational analysis. And that brings two problems. One is that the moment for that action may have passed before we've finished thinking. And the other is that our rational brain is not well equipped to give us the right answer. So what we feel is reducing the risk of getting it wrong is actually increasing that risk.
So what? What can you do about all this? Well, I suppose the benefit of this insight is that once you recognise the true problem, you can find the right solutions. You don't necessarily need to learn new skills, you need to do two other things. Firstly, you need to work directly on the fear factor, by learning how to monitor your state and use appropriate techniques to manage it. Secondly, you need to make sure that certain skills you do have become such ingrained habits that they do not desert you even at altitude - and you do this through conscious developmental practice.
It sounds like the approach of a top athlete, doesn't it. Which is not surprising, because they know better than anyone that once you have reached a certain level, it is not your technical skills that limit you, it is your ability to use them when it matters most.
Talking about feelings vs speaking with feeling
It's amazing how often we make exactly the wrong choice about which of these to do!
Let's look first at talking about feelings. Sometimes we think we should do this when we feel something is (emotionally) important to us. And yet it can sometimes fall strangely flat so that other people just don't seem to engage with it. This is actually not surprising. As a physiological effect, when you name an emotion you reduce your own (and others) emotional response to it. It seems that in naming it you objectify it, so that you do not experience it. For example, in saying "I'm really excited" you lose some of the feeling of excitement. So you don't want to name the positive feeling, you want to talk with excitement about what is making you excited. You DO want to name your negative feelings! For example, saying "I can feel I'm starting to get really angry" actually lessens the anger. Yet in many management meetings I've been to, it's the "I'm excited" comment that gets said a lot, and the "I'm getting angry" comment that is taboo. With predictable consequences!
Contrast that with speaking with feeling. This is what we do when we allow our feelings to show in what we say and how we say it. Colloquially we say we are speaking from the heart. This intensifies the emotional impact not just on you but also on those listening to you, through the power of limbic resonance. This ability to speak from the heart is something all good leaders need to develop. Yet too many still see that being business-like and professional means speaking without feeling. Even worse, they can try to talk in a business-like way about things they actually feel strongly positive about. Oh dear! Perhaps they are afraid the feelings will overwhelm them or others. But if the feeling is getting too strong, and becoming overwhelming, you can always use naming to bring it back under control.
So to paraphrase a famous prayer, you need courage to speak from the heart (ie speak with feeling) when it's helpful, humility to acknowledge your emotions (ie talk about feelings) when they are not, and wisdom to distinguish between the two situations.
Let's look first at talking about feelings. Sometimes we think we should do this when we feel something is (emotionally) important to us. And yet it can sometimes fall strangely flat so that other people just don't seem to engage with it. This is actually not surprising. As a physiological effect, when you name an emotion you reduce your own (and others) emotional response to it. It seems that in naming it you objectify it, so that you do not experience it. For example, in saying "I'm really excited" you lose some of the feeling of excitement. So you don't want to name the positive feeling, you want to talk with excitement about what is making you excited. You DO want to name your negative feelings! For example, saying "I can feel I'm starting to get really angry" actually lessens the anger. Yet in many management meetings I've been to, it's the "I'm excited" comment that gets said a lot, and the "I'm getting angry" comment that is taboo. With predictable consequences!
Contrast that with speaking with feeling. This is what we do when we allow our feelings to show in what we say and how we say it. Colloquially we say we are speaking from the heart. This intensifies the emotional impact not just on you but also on those listening to you, through the power of limbic resonance. This ability to speak from the heart is something all good leaders need to develop. Yet too many still see that being business-like and professional means speaking without feeling. Even worse, they can try to talk in a business-like way about things they actually feel strongly positive about. Oh dear! Perhaps they are afraid the feelings will overwhelm them or others. But if the feeling is getting too strong, and becoming overwhelming, you can always use naming to bring it back under control.
So to paraphrase a famous prayer, you need courage to speak from the heart (ie speak with feeling) when it's helpful, humility to acknowledge your emotions (ie talk about feelings) when they are not, and wisdom to distinguish between the two situations.
What are you afraid of?
I've been musing a lot about fear in the last week - it's always present in our work (and in our lives) but often below the level of our conscious awareness. I've been focusing on it more consciously because of a series of workshops I've been giving looking at behaviour from a neuro-biology perspective. Fear (avoidance of threat / danger) is one of the primary organising principles of the brain.
Fear can be a useful stimulant. At reasonable levels, it certainly mobilises us to action. Unfortunately, the brain chemicals which stimulate action have the side effect of disabling new thinking. So we are energised to act, but on instinct or habit rather than by conscious choice. This is why people rarely find original or creative solutions under stress or in a crisis - they simply do more of what they have always done. Look at the Financial Services industry in the last few years (or European politicians in the last few months). Part of a leaders job is to decrease, not increase, the fear. Yet few seem to know that this is what they should do, let alone how to do it.
Fear is decreased when we recognise it. Too often we attempt to suppress fear by denial, or by using another covering emotion like anger, which only makes the brain's fear response stronger. To really free ourselves from fear, we should actively look out for it and name it when we feel it. It seems that in recognising our fear, we are also recognising that the threat is in our head rather than external. As the old phrase goes, "there is nothing to fear except fear itself". In other words, what we fear is our interpretation of the situation rather than the situation itself. This is why re-framing also works so well as the second step in reducing fear - it changes our view of a situation so it is not a threat but an opportunity.
Fear can even be what stops some people coming to coaching or from exploring their deeper issues within the coaching. For example, there are the generic fears associated with the Centaur character styles, ie fear of looking foolish / vulnerable, fear of the coach's disapproval, fear of being seen as ordinary / worthless, or simply fear of being seen at all. (I've only listed four, as the fifth style's fear - fear of being ignored / deprived - is not likely to stop them entering into coaching, though it may stop them resolving their issues and thus ending the coaching.) Like a leader, part of the coach's role is to recognise and help decrease the fear, so as to enable new thinking.
So I believe coaches and leaders both have to be comfortable with fear. What are you afraid of?!
Fear can be a useful stimulant. At reasonable levels, it certainly mobilises us to action. Unfortunately, the brain chemicals which stimulate action have the side effect of disabling new thinking. So we are energised to act, but on instinct or habit rather than by conscious choice. This is why people rarely find original or creative solutions under stress or in a crisis - they simply do more of what they have always done. Look at the Financial Services industry in the last few years (or European politicians in the last few months). Part of a leaders job is to decrease, not increase, the fear. Yet few seem to know that this is what they should do, let alone how to do it.
Fear is decreased when we recognise it. Too often we attempt to suppress fear by denial, or by using another covering emotion like anger, which only makes the brain's fear response stronger. To really free ourselves from fear, we should actively look out for it and name it when we feel it. It seems that in recognising our fear, we are also recognising that the threat is in our head rather than external. As the old phrase goes, "there is nothing to fear except fear itself". In other words, what we fear is our interpretation of the situation rather than the situation itself. This is why re-framing also works so well as the second step in reducing fear - it changes our view of a situation so it is not a threat but an opportunity.
Fear can even be what stops some people coming to coaching or from exploring their deeper issues within the coaching. For example, there are the generic fears associated with the Centaur character styles, ie fear of looking foolish / vulnerable, fear of the coach's disapproval, fear of being seen as ordinary / worthless, or simply fear of being seen at all. (I've only listed four, as the fifth style's fear - fear of being ignored / deprived - is not likely to stop them entering into coaching, though it may stop them resolving their issues and thus ending the coaching.) Like a leader, part of the coach's role is to recognise and help decrease the fear, so as to enable new thinking.
So I believe coaches and leaders both have to be comfortable with fear. What are you afraid of?!
Can you always see the limbic at work?
This was a great question asked by a friend during a discussion about the dominant role the limbic plays in shaping behaviour. We'd been talking about the limbic as the centre of emotions in the brain, and his question was seeking to exlore an apparent contradiction for those people (like himself) who are very grounded and rational, rather than emotional (in Centaur terms the Warrior types). Does that lack of emotion mean that for them, the limbic is not engaged and not in control?
It's true the limbic is the centre of emotions in the brain, but it is more than that, it is a pattern recognition (and ultimately a pattern creation) system. It takes data from our senses and virtually instantly concludes (by pattern recognition) what sort of a situation it is that you are facing. It's response to the situation limits any subsequent cognitive thinking, for example by connecting only to "useful" memories of similar past situations. So this is why we talk about behaviour being driven by patterns in the limbic.
In the character style which is wedded to rationality it is the limbic which decides there is no place for emotion in this situation and which limits the thinking to gridded logic. So it is the blocking of emotional intelligence which itself demonstrates the limbic at work.
It's true the limbic is the centre of emotions in the brain, but it is more than that, it is a pattern recognition (and ultimately a pattern creation) system. It takes data from our senses and virtually instantly concludes (by pattern recognition) what sort of a situation it is that you are facing. It's response to the situation limits any subsequent cognitive thinking, for example by connecting only to "useful" memories of similar past situations. So this is why we talk about behaviour being driven by patterns in the limbic.
In the character style which is wedded to rationality it is the limbic which decides there is no place for emotion in this situation and which limits the thinking to gridded logic. So it is the blocking of emotional intelligence which itself demonstrates the limbic at work.
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