I'm prompted to write this by a discussion with a client who is responsible for leading the relationship with a key global account for one of the big consultancies. We had been talking about how he might develop new relationships at the most senior level, and my client had framed the strategic conversations he would like to have as being a bit like coaching conversations.
His goal, using a coaching mindset, is to help the client see things from a different perspective and so reach new insights of their own, rather than simply to tell them what he thought. I really liked this framing - it seems to me a great way for him to have a strategic conversation without the usual baggage of anxiety about demonstrating the quality of his own strategic ideas or about provoking a defensive reaction through implied criticism of the other's current strategy.
My client talked about another client where this works really well with the CEO... "but, of course, I know them quite well now. I can't do that with X until I have had some more meetings to build relationship and establish credibility." Which set me thinking: which comes first, the relationship or the coaching? And I concluded that ideally they develop in parallel. Pure relationship building may not, in itself, provide enough value to the other to make further investment in development of the relationship seem worthwhile. Conversely, the value from a good coaching conversation is a great way to build the relationship. The key is to respect, and pay attention to, the natural balance.
You might question whether a new contact would see it as appropriate for you to position yourself like this. But perhaps whether they will see it as appropriate depends on whether you do. You can easily check it out. And it is hard to think of a better alternative!
