This is undobtedly a useful approach, but it has limitations. So I shared with them, and will now share here, a simple 2 x 2 model of influence styles, which in this context can also be called leadership styles. One dimension distinguishes between "push" and "pull". The other distinguishes between "rational / impersonal" and "emotional / personal". So we get four styles (or families of styles):
Emotional push: These are the "Requesting" styles - eg "I want you to ..."
Emotional pull: This are the "Attracting" styles - eg "Imagine how you'll feel when you've done x!"
Rational pull: This are the "Exploring" styles - eg "How would you deal with x?"
Too often we get stuck in the first, and far too seldom do we use the others - particularly rarely the last two. And yet here are two good reasons for trying them. (And yes, I realise I'm using a rational push approach right now!) Firstly, push approaches inherently tend to produce a defensive push back. And the harder you push the harder the push back. So these approaches often result in stalemate. The pull approaches are inherently less likely to produce resistance. Secondly, the emotional approaches produce connection via the right brain and limbic, whereas the rational approaches primarily involve the (non-connecting) left brain. That's why a leader who can clearly communicate an attractive vision will create the most strongly connected followers.
So try flexing your influence / leadership style. You might be amazed how much less effort it takes to pull rather than push!
