This was prompted by some work I did on a programme for global relationship partners in a professional services firm who were being encouraged to have more strategic conversations with senior management contacts at their clients. Hearing the usual responses of "But I'm not an expert in strategy" reminded me how often people confuse a strategic conversation with a conversation about strategy!
I would define a strategic conversation as any conversation which makes a significant impact on the other's long term thinking and hence future actions. Since thinking and decisons are driven by emotions, you could also say a strategic conversation is one which has a significant impact on how the other person feels. Some examples would be:
(a) A coaching conversation = using a balance of support and challenge to help someone change habitual patterns of thinking and hence open up new strategic possibilities, which neither you or they anticipated.
(b) A heart to heart conversation = personally connecting by sharing what you truly think and feel rather than hiding behind your role and task agenda, or by showing empathy. The strategic impact is in deepening the relationship and building trust.
(c) A difficult conversation = daring to raise an issue that everyone else is avoiding, eg a conversation about a problem person in their management team that they aren't dealing with, or even the bit of the strategy that you just don't get ("the emperor has no clothes").
Sometimes, these all go together! Certainly, what's common to all three is that they are:
"Real" - you reveal who you really are, and invite the other to do the same
"Risky" - you expose yourself, a sign of trust and an invitation for them to trust you
"Relational" - you presume a desire for a deeper relationship, an invitation to build it
And how do you prepare for these strategic conversations? Not by learning about strategy but by:
(1) Awareness of who you are (at your best) and what gets in your way when you avoid the strategic conversation which might show it.
(2) Focus of attention on the quality of the interaction (or connection) rather than the content.
