No posts last week as too busy coaching... which is usually quite hard to write about without breaching client confidentiality.
However, one session illustrated perfectly just how personally people react to their business world, how unconsciously this happens, and how there are so many different ways you might use to help them see it. And how joyful it is once they do see it and take back control of both their thoughts and their actions. I think I can write about this without revealing anything about my client.
My client arrived seeking help with an "impossible situation" at work, one created by their manager, which they could not see any way forward on. My client was aware that it was causing them considerable emotional distress, but was clear that this was completely rational - anyone in such an impossible situation would feel the same.
In this instance what unlocked the personal perspective was my slightly odd question "How old do you feel right now?". This took us, via the TA route, into the recognition that what they were experiencing was an echo of the situation they'd faced as a child within their family unit. Our job was not therapy, so we were not seeking to explore and resolve that family situation. What we were doing was recognising that, whether or not that family situation was "impossible", as an Adult in a business context they actually had many more new options. They could hear the distress of their Child, but could separate from it and talk to it from their Adult state. Suddenly the way forward seemed not impossible but relatively easy, and in fact a good opportunity for them. Their smile of relief made my day!
There are many other ways we could have got there, eg some more experiential work, or working with character styles (my client has an obvious and clearly relevant Centaur character style). That is not the point of the story. The point is that the true problem was not the business challenge, it was personal (an emotional / limbic reaction - call it what you will) so that's where the work needed to focus.
